Never Let Your Dreams Go to Die

Just this past week I took a moment to look back through this blog and look at the goals I had listed out more than seven years ago.  Three longer term goals were set, some of which were a shot in the dark, and three longer term goals achieved.  Each one a stepping stone and a part of my journey.  Each year my coach has me do my own goal setting specific to that season - including process goals, targets, and some outcome oriented goals.

Training Weekends with Friends <3 td="">

There have been times each season I've thought that I should just throw in the towel.  Things weren't going well, the goals wouldn't be achieved, and it'd be easier to just walk away.  Instead of walking away, I've adjusted expectations, focused on the process and bringing the joy back to why I do what I
do.  Sometimes it's taking away the watch, not looking at power or not even glancing at the pace clock.  Other times it's signing up for races with friends, planning a training weekend with my best girls, or planning a weekend that has nothing at all to do with triathlon.

Honestly, when I set the goal of qualifying for and racing in Kona (the Big Island) I'm not sure I believed it was truly possible.   I knew I wanted it and that I would work for it but I also knew it was an outcome goal that wasn't fully under my control.  It took a bit of luck, 6 full Ironman races (3 in which I knew the tools were there and I just had to execute) and a support community that runs deeper than the Chattahoochee.  I look back at my finish line pictures when I qualified and can feel the emotion that is written all over my face.  The day was everything I had asked for and more - and I had stopped asking for an outcome goal for that race, all I wanted was the opportunity to execute the best race I was capable of.  Ironman Mt. Tremblant just 5 weeks earlier had been a bust, I had also solely been focused on an outcome goal for that race.   That experience built character and helped me to realize what was important to me - the process and utilizing what I worked so hard to build over the entire year.

Post IM Lou

The first long term goal I wrote in 2011 was to become an Ironman before the age of 26.  Bless my naive heart and determination that got me to that starting line and through the finish line at Ironman Louisville in 2012.  It's amazing how much I've learned and grown as not only an athlete but also as person through this sport since then.  I was optimistic going into that race, clueless but optimistic that I could finish top 10 in my AG.  I had to settle for top 20 and a soul crushing death march of a marathon.  What I don't share often is that I wasn't sure I'd ever toe the line of an Ironman again after that experience.  I sure as heck wasn't going to put myself through training like I did to feel let down at the finish line again.  I had written my own training plan, followed it to a T, and added extra since I was between graduation and starting my career.  Simply, I was overtrained when I got to the start line, I didn't know it back then, but looking back it's very obvious.  For the remainder of 2012 and 2013 I only wanted to focus on getting faster at Olympic and Half Distance racing.  For most of the year after IM LOU I wanted nothing to do with the full distance.   So what changed?

I went to IMLP in 2013 to spectate and sherpa for Adam and a ton of other DC Tri Club members.  I also went up earlier in the summer to do a training weekend with a few friends from DC Tri and fell in love with the Adirondacks.  Mirror Lake is clear and crisp, the bike course was fun and scenic, and the entire town came out to support Ironman.  While sitting at the awards ceremony with Adam and knowing on-site registration was opening in just a few minutes I had stated I would register for 2014 only if it fell on my dad's angel-versary.  We pulled up the website and sure enough, there it was, July 27th, 2014.  I grabbed my wallet and walked over to registration, and never looked back.  I committed to doing things "right" if I was going to do this again and hired my coach, crossed my t's and dotted my i's throughout the whole dang training plan and loved every second of training and racing (ok if you've read every post on here you know I didn't love every second in the moment).  I finished 6th in my age group at IMLP, 3 slots away from a KQ, and an uncomfortable but tangible dream was born.

IM TX 2015

If I've learned one thing in this sport it is that progress is not linear.  There will be training blocks where everything clicks and all goes well - the paces drop, the watts go up and our body feels good.  And there will be training blocks where nothing comes together - we get sick, our HR seems out of control, life is happening all around us and the body carries too much stress to make the physical adaptation.  It's the consistency of putting in the work day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year that we start to see the major differences physically, mentally, emotionally.  The journey from Placid to Kona wasn't smooth - up, down, sideways.  You can read the race reports on the blog but IMTX - huge lessons learned, IMCHOO - amazing day, amazing finish, no KQ, IMMT - more lessons learned, BUST, IMMD - dream come true.  And then there is Kona (race report coming soon) the place Ironman athletes dream about, the place that breaks even the toughest of competitors, the place that can steal your drive or light a fire under your ass.

Kona Start List 2017

Walking away from Kona on October 14th, I didn't know what would be next for me.  I knew the immediate future was complete vacation mode for one week on the island with my #1.   Triathlon wise - I wasn't sure and I was ok with that.  I needed time to process - th
e race, the training, the entire journey and where this journey was headed.  I wrote out some goals early in 2017 - some achieved,
some not yet, some huge goals that I may never achieve but I'm all in and fully committed to doing everything I can to see if I can get there.  Not every goal is triathlon related - some are just general life goals - but if there's any other lesson I've learned in this sport it is that the perseverance, grit, strength, determination, friendships, and support that I've gained from this sport is exactly the same stuff I need to be successful in every other part of my life.

So I'm holding on to the big goals, the scary goals, I'm embracing them and going full throttle ahead into this 2018 season.  A little dirty double 140.6 action to highlight the season and some local racing to kick things off has me excited to race and train, to beat yesterday, to find faster, to find joy in all of it and to have no limits.  One of my goals is to just blog more - and be real, open, humble about this life and this journey.  As for the other goals, I'll write about those soon and update the tab that says "GOALS".  It's not always easy, but it's worth it.

Don't give up on your dreams because of the time it will take to get there, the time will pass anyways.